23. Anger

Siddharth's POV

As we entered the bedroom, I made her sit on the bed, and I sat beside her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"What happened, Natasha?" I asked softly, knowing her situation.

But she kept sobbing and didn't answer. I got worried.

"Natasha? What happened?" I asked again.

But instead of answering, she held my arm where she scratched, and it was bleeding slightly, which didn't even hurt.

"Dard ho rha hoga,na?" she asked while looking at me.

"It must be hurting, right?"

I could tell she was guilty by looking at her eyes and her tone.

I smiled and shook my head as no.

"Of course not, my dear," I said and held her hands tenderly.

But she still looked upset, so I hugged her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Choro ye sb or ye batao ki kya hua aapko?aachanak ne panic attack?" I asked while stroking her hair while still being in a hug.

"Leave that and tell me what happened to you? Why the panic attack all of a sudden?"

"Wo asal me," she begins hesitantly, "mummy...puch rhi thi," She paused, and I pulled away from the hug and looked at her.

"Actually,"

"Mom... asked me."

"Mummy ne kya pucha?" I asked as I frowned in confusion.

"Mom asked what?"

"Unhone mujse pucha...kaise...meri mummy ki death Hui," she said hesitantly, "aur explain krte krte-"

"She asked me... how... my mother died,"

"and while explaining-"

"Aapko panic attack aagaya?," I didn't let her complete and spoke in between.

"You got a panic attack?"

She nods, and that boiled my blood. I've told my family before also not to ask her about this, and still, Mom did.

Although I was very angry, I didn't show it much because of her. She was still very vulnerable.

"Koi baat nahi...koi aapse ye sawal nahi puchega,me wada krta hu," I said and squeezed her hand gently.

"It's okay... nobody will ask that again, I promise,"

"You need rest... sleep for a while, and you will feel better," I said as she nodded. I smiled at her.

As she lay on the bed, I pulled the blanket over her as the AC was on.

"Should I change the temperature or is this fine?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"No, it's fine," she replied, and I smiled.

"Alright then," I kissed her forehead. "You rest here, just call me whenever you want. I'll be here for you," I said and was about to leave, but she held my hand, stopping me.

"Sorry again," she said, a hint of guilt present in her voice.

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

"I hurt you," she said, disappointed, as I smiled.

"You can never hurt me, my dear," I said as she looked at me in disbelief.

"But... but the scratches, those look so painful," she said as I chuckled.

"Scratches given by you are never painful," I said with a smile.

"But... but," she began, but I put my finger on her lips.

"No 'buts', now stop talking and rest, you need rest," I said as she remained silent.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, alright?" I said as she nodded.

I kissed her forehead one last time and left the room, turning off the lights and closing the door, letting her sleep in peace. I didn't want to disturb her anymore after what she's been through.

I walked downstairs where everyone was discussing something, and when I entered, they all got silent.

I stood in front of them, glaring at them with my rage-filled eyes.

"Mom, why did you ask her about her mother's death?" I asked in my usual cold, angry tone, not showing any emotions except anger.

"S-son, I was just trying to-" she began, but I interrupted her.

"TRYING WHAT!?" I finally shouted, unable to control my anger.

Everybody got silent, then my dad spoke.

"Calm down, son," he said.

"Calm down my foot! What if something horrible happened to her?" I yelled in anger and frustration.

"I told each and everyone not to bring up that topic in front of her, but no, you still brought up that goddamn topic and asked her!" I continued to yell, my anger growing each second.

Everybody remained silent.

I threw the vase near me on the floor out of frustration, not being able to control my rage. Everyone stepped back, but nobody spoke anything.

"Bhagwan Kasam, agar usse kuch hua na to me bhul jauga meri koi family bhi h," I spoke while clenching my jaw.

"I swear to God, if anything happens to her, I will forget I have a family,"

"Nahi,aisa to mt bol beta" Mom began, and I looked, clenching my fist as well, trying my best to calm down.

"No, don't say such things son"

I went upstairs again, glaring at them one last time, and went to our bedroom. I closed the door gently and did not slam it because she was sleeping.

I walked near the bed and sat on the bed beside her. I stroked her hair gently.

Seeing her face made my anger fade away in seconds. She looked so peaceful and beautiful while sleeping.

I caressed her cheek gently, removing the strands of hair from her face that were falling on her cheek.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, for the pain you had to go through," I whispered while looking at her, who was sleeping peacefully.

She is just a pure angel, she doesn't deserve this much pain in her life, but I'll make her life beautiful and make it the way she deserves.

"I promise," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

I gently kissed her forehead and lay down on the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her closely, not bothering her sleep. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep as well.

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Natasha's POV

"you're worthless". My father's voice echoed as his belt fell on me, causing me to cry out in pain

"Mom!". I shouted,while crying ,looking at the burning house infront of me

I couldn't move. My hands and legs felt like frozen in place.

"You being born was the biggest mistake of your life,". He uttered, his belt striking me again, causing me more pain.

My throat tightened with emotion. I couldn't bear any longer.

My breathing became difficult. Where...where am I?

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

"Die". His voice taunted as his belt threatened to strike me again.

My body jolted up, and I woke up with a gasp. I was sweating and breathing heavily.

It was all... a nightmare?

"Natasha? What happened? Why are you crying? Are you okay?" I heard a voice, and I looked beside me only to find Siddharth sitting by my side.

Cry?

I touched my face and felt tears under my eyes. I cried? I cried in my sleep?

Then I felt a warm and soothing feeling for which I had been craving for so long.

Yes, it's Siddharth's embrace. I buried myself into him, sobbing lightly. I could feel my body shaking.

I just don't understand why these past memories still haunt me to this day.

Especially... my mom's death... why?

"Shh... don't cry. What happened? You had a nightmare?" he asked, worried, as I nodded while sobbing, my face buried in his chest.

He rubbed my back gently, caressing the back of my head as well.

"It's okay, calm down... shh... I'm here with you, nobody can harm you now," he said, tightening his arms around me.

After a few minutes, he pulled away and gave me a glass of water, which was placed on the table near the bed.

"Here, drink some water, you'll feel better," he said, passing me the glass.

I drank from it slowly while he continued caressing my head.

I gave him the glass, and he put it back on the table.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern as I nodded.

I hugged him tightly again, resting my head on his chest, feeling safe and protected in his arms.

I felt his arms around me as well.

"Are you sure?" he asked again softly. I nodded again.

"Just... a nightmare," I said in a low voice.

"Do you want to see the therapist for this?" he asked while stroking my hair.

I immediately shook my head, distancing myself from him.

"N-no... I don't want to see any therapist, please... I don't want to, I don't—" He didn't let me complete and hugged me tightly again.

"Okay, okay... calm down... we're not going to any therapist, okay? Now please calm down," he said softly while rocking me back and forth.

"I hate therapists," I said while hugging him tighter.

"Okay, okay... I understand... I also don't like them, it's okay," he said soothingly as I was mostly calm now.

I need to get over this trauma, this horrible past, but... I can't. I just want to move on so badly. But I don't want any therapist for that. I don't want to. But me trying to heal myself isn't working. I'm so tired of this. I'm so tir

ed of my life.

Will my life ever change? Or will it get worse?

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What do you guys think will happen? 👀

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Bye bye 🍃

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